Updated: Jan 12, 2022
I have come to the conclusion that being a father is the single greatest thing that I've ever done. Even if I were trying to look at the negativity that often times intermingled with parental pleasures, I can't seem to focus on the bad. I've grown so much because of it. I'm terrified at the thought of the man I would've been if I was kid free, or they came without any complications.
This is the first Christmas my two daughters got to spend together! It all seems surreal, it's hard to believe that there was a time where my life was amok. God is good.
Their second meeting was just as beautiful as the first. I ran into a plethora of traffic on the way to and from South Carolina, a 4 hour round trip became closer to 6.
I know Amelia was tired of being in the car, she didn't have a tablet or source of entertainment other than the music and conversation. She was asking how far her grandparents were. I'm just glad she didn't have to use the restroom since I don't like to stop. I'm going to have to teach them how to pee in a bottle like I was taught.
I grew up on you had to go before you left.
Growing up on road trips I hope that my children fall in love with them as much as I did. I loved the camaraderie that came with it, the memories, and life lessons passed down from the head of the house. Hitting each other for punch buggies and playing games like where is the license plate from. After a while, we could tell the state by the color and design rather than reading the words. We used to play cards games and I, Spy.
I intentionally watched my daughter's personality flourish, by themselves, with their sister, and with the rest of the family. Amara being two, we are starting to see more of who she will be and I'm learning how Amelia shares her attention between me and her sister.
This week made me realize how much power I've given to Amara. Spoiling her for two years straight without having to share my attention it's taking her awhile to adjust. Sometimes, when we all lay down to sleep, she starts to mess with her sister poking and annoying her. It's kind of funny because of the way Amara presses on when she gets the reaction she wants, but I also wish Amelia would be more assertive as the big sister.
It didn't take long for Amara to follow in her big sister's footsteps though, literally often times. Flipping off the couch, jumping and sliding down the stairs, running around in circles, and running to daddy when I come home. A lot of the times I don't want to go to work, rather stay home with my babies. I often wonder if my parents felt the same way.
I had this idea to record a podcast with my daughter's the first time that they met but it didn't formulate in my mind until it was too late. I wanted to make sure that I got it this time, and I did! My brother and his fiancé bought me a new microphone for Christmas, it was the perfect time to bust it out.
It might be the best mic that I have.
My daughter's enjoyed the podcast! Amelia more so because Amara just wanted to play. They got their own toy karaoke mic with a speaker box on it, they had been practicing all week. They might not remember it, but it will be in the archives. I'm thinking about creating a second season of the podcast and it will be my daughter's platform. I have to see how that will look in Anchor because I'm still going to record episodes for season one.
I'm excited about it, just like the two Sundays before this one where I was asked to read poetry in front of the congregation. Although I was a little nervous it's like basketball, as soon as the jump ball is tipped, its game time. The first week I did one and he let me do another. The second week I wrote one for that day and Pastor enjoyed it so much that he wanted a copy for himself.
Writing brings me a lot of joy whether it be a poem, blog, book, or short story. Something else that brings me as much exuberance is leadership, and at church this past Sunday I was named the Head of Men's Ministry. As soon as I learned the news my mind raced to ideas of how to reach the men and outreach into the community.
This comes with a responsibility as a leader in the church and also out in the world. Representing Christ as he deeply expressed in his love letters written by those who chose to follow him. I still have areas of growth in my own life, but I know that the Holy Spirit can change me from the inside out.
I just have to continue to press on.
Amelia and Amara, daddy loves you.