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Or Not...

"It's finally over!"

Or not..

I guess if the fight was over there wouldn't be any growth, through the struggles of life is where we become strong. I tricked myself into believing that she was going to stay in her current mindset and not continue to be a hassle. Already causing problems exclaiming a misunderstanding and I'm told to extend grace when I don't believe I would receive the same sentiment.

It had me upset for half a day. I didn't get in debt and go to court just to have her pulling strings without repercussion. God never said it wasn't going to be a bumpy road, but I didn't think it would start this early. I was anticipating Amelia and Amara finally uniting but unfortunately it didn't workout that way.

Even though I came out with more time in the end, I felt a way because of how it all played out. Amelia's mother being difficult and throwing out wild accusations didn't help at all, I was frustrated. I was at work at the height of it all and I walked into the gym while the guys were playing basketball. I immediately said that I was going to play, work clothes and all. I kept telling them I was going to cook them in my church clothes, by the end of the session they started calling me preacher.

I later realized that basketball still had the same effect on me. Just like when I was a kid or in college, stepping on the court clears the worries from my mind. When I got the rock in my hands making moves or counter moves to find the best way to put the ball in the cup. In an instant, I was smiling playing around and talking trash. Even after I was done my spirits had been lifted for the rest of the day, I still love the game.

Amara had an active weekend, she was all over the place. Climbing on me, on furniture, on other people still roaming plate to plate eating whatever she can find. That girl can eat! One funny thing she does is she'll ask for food when it's bed time so that she can delay going to sleep.

She got me the first couple times, finding myself walking downstairs trying to find her something she'll like and she doesn't eat a thing. I picked up that she did it the most when I was laying her down and my fatherly instincts told me that she was trying to get out of bedtime. Her mother has her sleeping in her own bed but I haven't gotten to that point yet, I still love my cuddles.

Potty training is going better, Amara came up to me and said "pee pee" so I rushed her to the bathroom. I was so proud of her, but she did both number one and two. She kept looking back at it saying "ew ew," I thought that was hilarious just like her attempting to wipe. At least she knows what to do, I thought.

My two year old surprised me Sunday after church service by running up calling me Q. I looked at her in astonishment while my brain calculated what she was saying to me. I playfully told her that my name was daddy to her but that didn't stop her from saying it again before we left the parking lot.

It's amazing how much babies are listening and what they catch on to, she connected hearing people say Q and me responding and figured out that was my name. She had to, because nobody had explained that to her, whenever anybody refers to me to her they call me daddy. I think it's beautiful the way our mind works, even at that age, that's why it's pertinent we watch what we say around the little ones.

Amara is getting better with her words too! For a time I was worried because she didn't progress as fast as Amelia, and she was all I knew as far as child development. I think Amara is still right on track though, and she is retaining the sign language we show her. I'm always thinking how my baby is going to be fluent in ASL, it's a lovely way to communicate. I thoroughly enjoy learning all the hand placements for each sign.

We got invited to the Pastor's house for a late lunch early dinner type meal. They served salmon, burgers, vegetables, and more as well as desserts. We had a great time fellowshipping and having conversations outside of the church setting. I was happy they had nondairy ice cream, even though I'll eat either.

They suggested this movie called The Harder They Fall, with a couple of notable actors such as Idris Elba. It was an intriguing western setting film, I enjoyed watching it. It is an all black cast essentially as well, which I thought was pretty cool but it did take me two days to finish it. For some reason, I've always been able to fall asleep easily at night time. It's like, a wave a sleepiness just takes over my eyes and I can't do anything but succumb to it.

I'm looking forward to this week with Amelia, I pray that it all goes well and that she doesn't try to back out again. I love my babies, I love you two, Amelia and Amara, more than anything in the world. Thank you for making me the man that I am.

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