I'm sitting here watching this movie called "Jack Reacher: Never Go Back", it's a Tom Cruise film and I have nothing against the man. I'm a big fan of the author Lee Child and the character Jack Reacher but I'm not a fan of these movies simply for their inaccurate depiction of him. He is described in the books as a 6'5 rugged big strong guy and they choose Tom Cruise short self.
It got me wondering after my book takes off will they want to make it a movie, and will I have any creative control. It's known that there's often small differences to make the story more eye appealing but I want everything to be exactly the same. I created it all from the scenery to the characters to the plot and I feel like I deserve to see the vision in motion.
I noticed that it was a Tom Cruise Production so did he pay Lee Child to play his character because he is as big as fan as I am? Or is Lee Child a fan of Tom Cruise watching his classics like "Mission Impossible." I won't lie I tried to watch one the other day and wasn't really impressed, he is subpar when it comes to Jason Bourne, John Wick and I think it might be the character himself.
When reading my thrillers I noticed that the best books are the ones with the most captivating main character, readers wanting to see what he or she will do next. How can they come out the other side of an impossible situation, and with books, the movie playing in my head is my own creation and somehow sticks with me more than an actual film.
That's why it's so important for me to create adequate characters as I'm writing my debut book, characters that will jump off the page and have my readers thinking about what will happen next as they try to go to sleep. Relatable characters, that have real life issues addressing sensitive topics that have permeated my life as well as many others. Characters that touch the heart, ones that kids will aspire to be.
This is also who I want to be in real life, a role model, someone that people call on and look up to. Not someone perfect, but a person that can use my imperfections and traumas to reach others and help heal. Let there voice vibrate off my ear drums as I sit and listen because sometimes that's all that we want.
I want to be a model man, father, husband for my daughters and I thought about that a lot as I had Amara for the entire week. It was my spring break and what better way to spend my time off than with my daughter. I was bouncing back and forth between mine and my parents house trying to get them as much time with her as possible.
They're all working from home for the most part so I stayed around unless I had something to do. Everything was smooth until I had to work my second job Wednesday and Thursday, working from 4-9pm isn't always easy for my family. Especially when my sister is getting prepared to be married and my parents are chipping in as much as needed. Knowing them, probably going above and beyond because that is the type of parents they have always been.
I took Amara to the park where she made a friend and I connected with the father for the podcast and to get our kids out there together again. Amara was acting shy at first, only wanting to be next to me even when the little girl was saying hi and waving in her face. I wondered if Amara was nervous because the girl was a head taller than she was, and she was only a couple months older. She reminded me of Amelia with her size at that age.
She went down the slide and ran in circles around the playground, tried to get down from too high of heights and climbing up and down the stairs getting her clothes dirty. The park had an informing play area and I read to her about animals like lions, zebras, gorillas, and a few birds too. I read to her plain and clear hoping that she will retain some of the sounds and repeat, she isn't too young to start.
17 months today, actually. What a blessing it has been.
Lately, I've been getting that strong divine tugging pulling me closer to God and my walk in faith. That same attraction that lead me to getting saved early 2020 and changing my life around. Noticing that I can't do it on my own and that I keep running back to habits instead of the father.
Sometimes, when I hear things in my head or think a certain thought it's tough to decipher where the source is coming from. Is it a thought of God or the devil, an angel or demon, the right shoulder or the left. When he truly speaks to your heart though, it's unmistakable, even though I might or we as a people might deny it. We know it's him.
He was speaking to me inferencing the things he has for me and the path that has been laid out for me, if I were to fully submit and lay down what opposes the direction I'm trying to pursue. It's not ever really a booming voice, but he speaks through songs and other people, words on paper and conversations I come across in passing.
I went to a family friend church this past Sunday, my family was going and the family that owned the church has continuously prayed over me and my situation regarding Amelia. I mean, I really don't have many other situations, at least not as drastic and life impacting. I wanted to show my support by helping fill the seats and give what I had outside of my usual tithes.
Man, I'm glad that I went. The message was good and there was something on the screen that had the word "ascribe" on it. It didn't resonate til later, but that word was used in a series by Michael todd that I listened to last year. He was talking about we do and value what we ascribe as worthy in our life, we put the things we deem important first.
Where is God at in your life?
I listened to another message, one that I believe God directed me too and he was talking about putting God first in your life. With money, time, energy, love and how everything else will fall into place after that. I do already pay tithes every paycheck and make sure it's the first funds to leave my account, but there's other areas that he was convicting my heart. Putting into perspective what I already knew that needed to be changed.
At the end of the Sunday service the pastor spout out a prayer over my entire family and I can tell he was speaking from a divine place. He got to me and spoke on things that God was already eating away at me on, he confirmed thoughts that I questioned was heavenly, and again, showed me a promised future. I think Abraham's story, he had to be shown the promise on multiple occasions in various ways.
God has came to me in dreams spoke to me through my thoughts and through other people, I'm ready to take on that role again. I like to feel control and have power, but there's nothing more powerful than having God in your corner. No black magic, demons, or other principalities can flourish when I have the Word embedded in my heart.
Even with knowing this, it's still a lot easier said than done, it's a change of the mindset. Watching a sermon this morning talking about being stained. Stained with the past, with ACES, with traumas that we caused and inflicted on ourselves. This can all be cleaned and eradicated if we just bow down to the father. I'm ready for this change to be concrete and not flimsy like leaves in the wind.
I have to so I can lead and be a role model for my beautiful daughters.
Amelia and Amara, daddy loves you.